“Discernment is not proven by confidence—it is revealed in trust.” - Brian Turner

We live in a world that rewards certainty—and rewards people who appear certain even more.

Clear plans.
Confident decisions.
Strong opinions.

And if we’re not careful, we carry that same pressure straight into our life with God.

We begin to assume that discernment should feel decisive.
That maturity means confidence.
That if we’re really hearing God, we should feel sure—quickly and consistently.

So when decisions feel unclear…
When prayer feels quiet instead of confirming…
When we don’t feel confident about the next step…

We start to turn inward.

What am I missing?
Am I doing this wrong?
Why can’t I hear God clearly?

And slowly—almost imperceptibly—discernment turns into self-critique.

But what if discernment was never meant to feel like judgment?
What if listening to God is not supposed to sound like suspicion toward yourself?
What if discernment is not about scrutinizing every thought—but about trusting God’s leading over time?

The God Who Does Not Lead Through Condemnation

When you actually pay attention to Scripture, one pattern emerges again and again:

God leads His people patiently—
and He does so without condemning them along the way.

Biblical discernment does not begin with fear of getting it wrong.
It begins with trust in God’s character.

The apostle Paul writes:

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
(Romans 8:1, NIV 2011)

That verse is not only about salvation—it shapes how we listen.

If condemnation has no place in our standing with God,
it has no place in our discernment either.

Yet many of us approach listening for God’s voice as though we are on trial.

We replay decisions.
We analyze motives.
We question our desires.
We judge our thoughts.

We assume that harsh self-evaluation will produce wisdom.

But Scripture never teaches that anxiety clarifies God’s voice.

Wisdom Is Given, Not Extracted

James offers us a radically different picture of discernment:

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault.”
(James 1:5, NIV 2011)

Notice what James assumes.

Asking presumes humility.
Asking presumes patience.
Asking presumes trust.

And most importantly—God gives without finding fault.

Discernment is not something we squeeze out of ourselves through analysis.
It is something we receive as we remain attentive to God.

Wisdom is not downloaded through pressure.
It is formed over time through relationship.

When Discernment Becomes Exhausting

For many believers, discernment feels heavy—not because they don’t want to obey God, but because listening has become emotionally taxing.

Instead of peace, there is tension.
Instead of clarity, there is overthinking.
Instead of trust, there is self-doubt.

Sometimes what we call “discernment” is actually fear that wants certainty.

We’re afraid that if we pause, we’ll miss God.
That if we wait, the opportunity will pass.
That if we choose wrong, everything will unravel.

So we critique ourselves in the name of wisdom.

But here’s a pastoral truth many of us need to hear:

God is far more committed to leading you than you are to hearing Him.

He is not confused about how to guide you.
He is not impatient with your questions.
And He is not disappointed when clarity comes slowly.

Attentiveness Before Analysis

Scripture consistently places attentiveness before action.

We see this clearly in Luke 10, when Jesus enters the home of Martha and Mary.

Martha is busy—doing good, necessary things.
Mary sits at Jesus’ feet and listens.

Jesus does not rebuke Martha’s service.
He gently redirects her anxiety.

Mary, He says, has chosen what is better.

Not because activity is wrong—
but because attentiveness comes first.

Discernment does not begin by evaluating yourself.
It begins by sitting in God’s presence without judgment.

Listening precedes deciding.
Trust precedes clarity.

When Discernment Feels Threatening

For many of us, discernment feels threatening because it requires trust without control.

When we don’t know what to do next, old fears surface.
Questions grow louder.
The urge to decide quickly intensifies.

So instead of listening, we rush.
We stay busy.
We choose quickly—not always because it’s wise, but because it relieves discomfort.

But Scripture reminds us:

“In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength.”
(Isaiah 30:15, NIV 2011)

Strength does not come from pressure.
It comes from trust.

And trust cannot grow where self-critique dominates.

A Gentler Way to Discern

Discernment is not self-critique.
It is a posture of humble attentiveness to God.

It sounds less like:

Am I doing this right?

And more like:

Lord, teach me.

That simple prayer—Lord, teach me—creates space.

It quiets anxiety.
It loosens urgency.
It returns discernment to relationship rather than performance.

A Simple Practice for This Week

Discernment does not require a dramatic overhaul.
It begins with small, faithful shifts in posture.

Once a day this week, pause for a moment.
Take a breath.
And pray a short, honest prayer:

“Lord, teach me.”

Not show me the whole plan.
Not fix this immediately.
Not make me certain.

Just: Lord, teach me.

Then move on with your day.

You don’t need immediate clarity.
You don’t need emotional confirmation.
This is not about information—it’s about trust.

Over time, this simple prayer reshapes how we listen.
It softens self-critique.
It forms discernment quietly and faithfully.

That is how wisdom grows.

A Slower Way to Listen

Before closing, I want to mention something briefly—without pressure, simply as an invitation.

Alongside this episode, I released a guided formation resource called A Slower Way to Listen.

It’s not a sermon.
And it’s not another podcast episode.

It’s a quiet, guided experience designed to help you slow down, listen with God, and practice discernment without strain, self-judgment, or hurry.

If this reflection resonates with you, and you sense it would serve you, you’re welcome to explore it.

And if not, that’s okay too.

What matters most is not how certain you feel—
but that you walk with God attentively and faithfully.

Because discernment is not proven by confidence—
it is revealed in trust.

Click here for the resource — A Slower Way to Listen

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Back to Brian Turner Ministries

This reflection flows from Episode 4 of Rise with Brian Turner: God With Us — Finding Peace in the Waiting. If you are walking through a season of waiting, you are invited to listen, share, and return as we continue to explore what it means to rise into the life God is forming in us.